Lyrics from Beauty and the Beast


[Lefou:] Gosh, it disturbs me to see you, Gaston
Looking so down in the dumps
Every guy here'd love to be you, Gaston
Even when taking your lumps

There's no man in town as admired as you
You're everyone's favorite guy
Everyone's awed and inspired by you
And it's not very hard to see why

No one's slick as Gaston
No one's quick as Gaston
No one's neck's as incredibly thick as Gaston
For there's no man in town half as manly
Perfect, a pure paragon
You can ask any Tom, Dick or Stanley
And they'll tell you whose team they'd prefer to be on

[Crowd:] No one's been like Gaston
A kingpin like Gaston

[Lefou:] No one's got a swell cleft in his chin like Gaston

[Gaston:] As a specimen, yes, I'm intimidating

[Crowd:] My, what a guy, that Gaston

Give five "hurrahs!"
Give twelve "hip-hips!"

[Lefou:] Gaston is the best
And the rest is all drips

[Crowd:] No one fights like Gaston
Douses lights like Gaston

[Man:] In a wrestling match nobody bites like Gaston

[Bimbettes:] For there's no one as burly and brawny

[Gaston:] As you see, I've got biceps to spare

[Lefou:] Not a bit of him's scraggly or scrawny

[Gaston:] And every last inch of me's covered with hair

[Crowd:] No one hits like Gaston
Matches wits like Gaston

[Lefou:] In a spitting match, nobody spits like Gaston

[Gaston:] I'm especially good at expectorating

[Crowd:] Ten points for Gaston!

[Gaston:] When I was a lad I ate four dozen eggs
Every morning to help me get large
And now that I'm grown I eat five dozen eggs
So I'm roughly the size of a barge

[Crowd:] No one shoots like Gaston
Makes those beauts like Gaston

[Lefou:] Then goes tromping around wearing boots like Gaston

[Gaston:] I use antlers in all of my decorating

[Crowd:] My, what a guy

Lyrics transcribed by

Music and Lyrics by Alan Menken and Howard Ashman
Performed by Richard White, Jesse Corti and chorus

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